That Stupid Feeling

The past week was my first in facing reality. 

I went back to Headstart to rekindle my passion for teaching. I missed the feeling of looking into my students’ eyes as they light up every time they correctly answer a Math problem. I missed the people and the bond. I guess, I just miss myself.

I have always wanted to teach. Two years ago, I remember the pain I felt when I realized I really wanted to be an educator but I could not quit Industrial Engineering since I was already in my 4th Year. I told myself — two more years, it will be over.

Last year, after the fun internship experience, I declared that IE was also for me.

So which is which?

Well, after going through both — teaching is my passion, and will always be one.

I am really glad to be back at Headstart and teaching again. It gives me the lift I need badly.

…..

So my plans to rebuild myself again has started. 

Good points so far:

1. I have spend a greater amount of time with my family. I miss my brothers and my parents so much that it gives me happiness to finally prepare breakfast and lunch for them. Teaching my youngest brother has been an undying source of happiness for me now. I really wanted to make up to them for all their sacrifices for me.

2. It feels wonderful to be appreciated for something that I know I could do best. After teaching my first class, one of my students asked me if I would be their teacher the next day. When I told them I would not return to their school anymore, they told me, “Ma’am, kayo na lang ulit. Naiintindihan namin pag kayo eh.” I was really touched when the class became silent as they said that.

That same night, I sent an email to my students for a homework, and I also received this reply.

This almost made me cry.

Teaching will always be my comfort zone. 

3. I get lots of rest :D Happiness :) I think everyone knows how workaholic I can be. But since I am spending more time for myself and my family, I find time to stop and relax for all it’s worth. I found the time to cook, read, draw and write again.

Bad Point so far:

I just feel empty. The hardest part is — I don’t know why. I mean, I feel okay. I just don’t feel happy. 

Oh well, it isn’t the end of summer yet. Wala pa naman ako sa summer deadline ko. :)

Two Months of Realization and Happiness — Steps to Achieve Both

[X] Teach again.

[X] Read books. <3 <3

[X] Blog again.

[  ] Write my second story.

[  ] Connect with high school friends.

[  ] Save money. :)

[  ] Play the piano.

[  ] Sing like a star.

[X] Pray. Constantly. Everyday.

Eight more weeks to go :)

Pag-gunita

Umagos mula sa isip

Himig ng iyong tinig

Halimuyak ng pangitain

sa nalalapit mong pag-alis

Kung babalikan mula sa gunita

Mga nagdaang pagsasama

Iyong tawang nagsilbing musika

Haplos na siyang tunay na kalinga

Mga hakbang patungo sa kung nasaan tayo ngayon

Mga ala-alang bumuhay sa atin noong panahon

Hindi ba sapat na dahilan ang lahat ng ito,

Upang ika’y lumaban, at muling tumayo?

Gaano man ipilit

Ipatarok sa aking pag-iisip

Dahil ng paglayo’t pagsuko’y

Hindi maisingit

Saan nga ba nagkamali?

Ako nga ba’y lubhang mapilit?

Ngunit kahit sa impit na alaala

Hindi maisip ang sandali

Ipinilit ko, iyong dinggin,

Hanggang sa abot ng makakaya

Ngunit ikaw ang lumayo

Itinakwil lahat ng nasa gunita

<finally! a poem!>

Treasures inside the Suitcase (Rummage Sale Edition)

My mom was opening every suitcase and cabinet inside our house for another rummage sale tomorrow hosted by UP CIEM at Brgy. San Vicente.

Look what we found inside one suitcase :)

My Christening Dress :) Worn last December 1989 (I forgot the exact date).

My ballerina top when I was 4 or 5 years old :) Happiness :)

My graduation ballerina dress :)

<3 Aww <3

Childhood :)